


If you close your eyes...

by chick_with_wifi



Series: #root [2]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Episode: s05e02 SNAFU, F/F, Missing Scene, POV First Person, POV Root (Person of Interest)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:59:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chick_with_wifi/pseuds/chick_with_wifi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I want to go and speak to Her but something stops me. A tightness in my chest. Her voice had been my constant for so long, yet I’d walked away from Her when she tried to stop me finding Sameen. Then She thought I was a monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you close your eyes...

**Author's Note:**

> ...does it almost feel like nothing changed at all.
> 
> (Title from Bastille's Pompeii)

My entire chest lurched and I sat up, gagging and retching. I placed one hand over my mouth and clutched my stomach with the other. It was a horrible, violating feeling that forced me to try and clench my muscles.

“It’s OK,” said Harold soothingly. “Just breathe.”

I pressed my fist against my mouth and tried to regulate my breathing through my nose. Harold was knelt on the floor by my bed with the medical equipment in his hands. Apparently my body hadn't been too happy about having that tube down my throat. But needs must and all that.

Sure, being used as a bargaining chip reminded me of the not-so-good old days when I’d had to fight to even be heard or for so much as a single scrap of respect. But those things happened to Samantha. Root wouldn't settle for that. I prided myself on taking situations into my own hands; I liked to be holding more cards than my opponent. If I had to climb up onto a rooftop or knock myself out to achieve that, so be it. I’m not fussy. It just means I have conviction, I believe in my cause.

Gradually the feeling wore off and I fell back against the pillows.

“Are you alright?” asked Harold.

I closed my eyes and shrugged.

“The Machine is back with us, no longer unstuck in time.” A few seconds later I heard him get up and leave, probably to go and speak to his helper monkey. Pardon, John. I really should start using his name more often.

So She’s back. I want to go and speak to Her but something stops me. A tightness in my chest. Her voice had been my constant for so long, yet I’d walked away from Her when she tried to stop me finding Sameen. Then She thought I was a monster.

Was she right? I have done many terrible things, but I have changed. Haven't I? I’m never going to be the type if person to retire to the suburbs and adopt children - if I even make it that far - but between them Her, Harry, Sameen and, heck, even John, Lionel and Bear have helped me believe not all people are bad code. I don't go straight for the kill shot any more even though I sometimes think about it. Not that I’d tell anyone.

In search of a distraction, I sweep my hand across the floor by my bed. My fingertips brush against a stack of books I sent Harry out for. Among them were a few he threw in of his own accord because he thought I might like them. The top one, Sense and Sensibility, was one of his choosing. I pick it up and settle more comfortably on the bed. Next to me is my stuffed bat toy, I’d never had a stuffed toy and suddenly desperately wanted one, and I switch on my lava lamp (another thing I’d never had). I bend one knee and rest the opposite ankle on it, opening the first page of the book.


End file.
